One year ago today, Bryan was laid to rest at Lakewood Cemetery. One year ago today, I was saying goodbye to my best friend and partner... saying "until we meet again." This year has been very hard, harder than I thought it would be. But through all of the pain, Owen and I have emerged and in a way... we survived.
I am not sure why I have not been keeping up with my blog, I really don't have a good excuse, but I think it is because Owen keeps me on my toes at all times. Since my last post a lot of things have changed in our lives. Owen and I moved to Maple Grove, MN, in April, into a beautiful two story town home. Although we miss Bill and Lori, we like having our own space and all of our things. Owen loves his big boy room and I have to admit that I really missed sleeping in my own bed. It has been really hard being surrounded by Bryan's things and all of our wedding gifts, but even though it sucks... it is also very comforting and needed.
Not only did we make the "big" move to Maple Grove, but I decided to give in and go see a counselor. I started going to the Grief Counseling Center a few months ago and even though it was a hard transition for me to make, I have to say that it has been very helpful. Being able to talk to someone who is not directly affected by Bryan's death has been nice. I have a lot of work to do, but I know that it will help me out in the long run. I don't think that I would have been able to make it through this past week without it.
Through counseling I have learned that I need to be more spontaneous and open-minded. So, I decided to do something that I have wanted to do for a long time. My cousin, Tiffany, and I started a photography and design company called "Sweet Love Photography and Design." It really did not take Tiffany and I long to come up with the name of our company. The last two words that Bryan said to me at 1:22pm (an hour before he died) were "sweet love." After Bryan died I realized that I was going to live the rest of my life following my dreams and inspiring people. Chasing something that I know Bryan would be so supportive of...Photography. So if you are ever in need of photos... you know who to call.
Trying to get through the first anniversary of Bryan's death has not been easy. I tried so hard to pretend that it was just a normal day and not the week of September 3rd... but my brain would not let me forget or pretend. Owen and I have been trying to move forward and do things that remind us of Bryan but it has been difficult not having his sense of humor and fun loving personality around. On September 7th, Owen and I decided to make another spontaneous decision and we added a new member to our family. On Tuesday we brought home a 2 pound kitty from the humane society and named her Lindy Prairie (after the name that Bryan wanted us to name our daughter someday... Lindy is a fishing rig). Although she does not take away our pain or bring Bryan back... she has made our last few days a little happier. Penny sure loves having a partner in crime.
I know that I have not been blogging lately, but I need to start getting back into the swing of things. Blogging/writing for me is very therapeutic and I know that it is something I really need to continue doing. So... be prepared to read more and more about the Prairie Clan.